Sucora <3

January 29, 2009

2009-01-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

hey everyone!!!
omg it has been forever like for real. i havent really even remembered my blog till i got a request from mrs gus to see her blog and then i was like omg my blog needs to be updated. so much has happened in the last 2 months, way too much for one post. so i will skip everything until now. well... school is going good i guess. i am not really a fan of school so its just blah too me. friends are pretty much the only reason i get up in the morning. i really love my schedule this smemster though. i have 3 classes with mrs gus which is AMAZING cuz i love her lol. but yah. this past week has been really hard for me... kinda been going through a lot. mostly with a guy. i learned that its really hard to pretend like you dont care anymore. especially when you thought you loved that person. today was the first day i saw him since we broke up. i thought things would be totally horrible and i would cry, but surprisingly things were much better than expected. he just treated me the same as always except minus the holding hands and kissing. it was kinda awkward since usually when we break up he totally ignores me which bugs the crap out of me. but it was just normal. he almost lit me on fire which was scary yet kinda hilarious at the same time. i am trying to get over him all the way, although i feel like a loser cuz he crushed my heart and i still like him. lame i know. i want to write one of my poems on here from english... with mrs gus.. who is amazing lol... ok but dont laugh at it...

my ipod is my happiness
the screen is my memory
the earphones block out the bad
the turner changes my mood
the color is wild, crazy, and random
the play button pauses my emotions
the lock helps me focuz
and pushes away all my thoughts
the music is my emotion
the lyrics are my sadness
the pictures are my joy
my ipod is my world

well i thought i did a pretty good job writing that lol... with some help from mrs gus. i just wanna give a quick shout out to all my friends. you guys are so amazing i love you all so much!!! thank you for always being there for me and trying to make me smile when i need it the most. thanks for hating every guy that breaks my heart and thanks for saying you will punch him in the face if he ever comes near me again. just the simple things you guys do for me makes my day!!! i love you all!!!!
another shout out to my family. mom thanks for always letting me crawl in your bed when i am sad. thanks for being wild and crazy and funny. thanks for making me smile. thanks for letting me use your shoulder to cry on. your the best. dad, thanks for letting me cuddle with you when im sad. thanks for always listening and being the best teddy bear ever!!!! DUCKIE!!!! thanks for being a jerk... lol jk jk. i still love u even though u kick me out of your room. i love you and you are my true best friend. and my little brothers... thanks for just smiling at me when i cry and giving me random hugs and kisses. i love you all so much.
lastly a shout out to a very special person in my life. i am so glad that i met you and that you have been in my life. thank you for all the best advice i have ever gotten for you. thanks for praying for a blizzard even though you dont like the snow. thanks for making me cry out of happiness instead of a broken heart. thanks for giving me passes to class and letting me sit in your room when i dont want to go to class. you are truly my hero. thanks you.

"if you could just step into my shoes and see the way i see you for one day, then you would know how amazing you are. i would be honored for you to be my daughter. i would take you in a heartbeat. i love you and you are strong."
-someone who made me feel worthwhile <3

well i love you all and i hope that you are having an amazing life... hearts!!!

me <3

Wednesday November 5, 2008

2008-11-05T11:43:00.000-08:00

hey everyone!!! i have been so busy lately just omg lol. i never have time to get on the computer. well this last week was pretty good i guess. some weirdo things have happened and some good things. over the weekend i started getting a cold and it kind sucked. then on monday i was sick so i did nothing but sleep all day and i felt better after that. then on tuesday i went to school and it was school. and then dance and it was an alright practice cuz i still wasnt feeling that good so i just didnt do well at practice. and now its today and today is just boring. nothing exciting had happened and i am like the meanest person ever. so this morning i was going to meet alex and hang out with him cuz he asked me to but then i forgot to set my alarm and woke up late. so i was late so seminary and i wasnt all the way around so then i can home and got around and i was late. so i txt him and told him that i was going to be late and yah it was like 20 minutes later and i was like i am done do u still wanna hang out and he said he just left. so pretty much i am mean for being late and not getting to hang out wtih him. i really wanted to but no i had to wake up late. so my life is sad. and then people just give out my number to random people and its gay. u shouldnt give out peoples number unless u ask first. so now brock has my number. and he said that he said it outloud and this brandon kid memorized it. its weird. i really hate my phone and i wanna shut it off but then i wood miss it a lot. i have 17 minutes till lunch is over. i hate counting down the time but i just always do it. in catering today my team made white chocolate macadamion nut cookies and they were the bomb!!! everyone wanted them and it was amazing lol. and virgina at like 7 cookies and then she got a stomachache and i laughed lol. well my halloween was pretty freaken amazing!!!!!! i went trick or treating and it was bomb. i had so much fun. i didnt get that much candy cuz i skipped like a trillion houses and only went to the scary ones. the one on the end these people chase u and its really scary. me and lulu and mindee went the first time and we got chased down that whole street and it was fun ny lol. then we went back again with shalyn and it wasnt scary after that cuz she just gave the guy a hug and then he just showed us the house. yah pretty amazing. i dressed up as like a half emo kid lol. i took a million pics and i will put them on here as soon as i find the time. hope u all are amazing!!!!
loves ya!!!!

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

An AMAZING Dream!!!!

2008-10-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

omg so i just have to tell u all bout this amazing dream that i had last nite. so it kinda is weirdo but then again amazing too. So i was in this band and we were performing at this concert and we were going to skydive into the concert. its weird i no. but so i was the last one and i jumped and it was all amazing. so we get to the concert and perform and i dont really remember that part too well. but then we go to this huge party and like everyone in the entire world was there lol well not really but mostly everyone i knew. so we were just hanging out and everyone thought we were amazing and that we did a really good job and yah. then i saw alex and he was with this girl name julie, idk who that is but anyways. so i was with nes quick and we were going outside and i saw alex and was like do u wanna come with us. so he came and we were outside and hes like where u wanna go cali, denver, london, around the block. and i was like probabley i could not go to anywhere but around the block so we went. and so alex takes my hand and we start walking and talking and just yah normal. then nes quick comes right between us and takes his hand and my hand and whispered to me dont do this. so i just listened. we were walking and talking some more and then we got to this grass area and we were just standing there and then the sprinklers came on and so we were all just playing in them and it was fun lol. then i woke up and it was over. idk why that is so amazing but it was. so i txted cha cha and asked is it true that if you have a dream bout someone they fell asleep thinking of you and it said you were probabley thinking of them and you brain made a dream. so then i ask another question. did they fall asleep thinking of me and cha cha said yes he fell asleep thining of you. but i didnt say he b4 i said did they. i think it just read my mind or something lol. well i gots to go but love u all!!!!!

Friday October 17, 2008

2008-10-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!!! today i have to day off of school but then again i dont really have the day off. i have to leave for choreography in 20 minutes. and then pretty much i have to stay there from 10:00- 5:30. i know its like the whole day. its going to be really long and exhausting and then i have a game tonite so its going to be even longer. just wow. it is going to be a very long day. but pretty much my life has been going amazingly well the last couple of days. i only had to go to school monday and tuesday so that pretty much rocked. but then i had to take the planned test and i think i did horrible on that. and yesterday i went on a field trip and it was really boring. i liked not having to go to school but yah. pretty much weirdo people txt me. but i did learn that i am very good at handling people coming in and out of my life. cuz it kinda happens a lot to me. i have to leave in 10 minutes. i am kinda really nervous for choreography cuz i am not very good at my turns or toe touches or kickline. i am really nervous. wow. i hope i can make it through the day. wish me luck!! hope u all are amazing.

me <3 <3 <3 <3

2008-10-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!! this is going to be a really long post cuz i have to do that 7 weido facts bout myself and then i want to do this thing that sam did and its where u say 20 people your thinking bout and u dont say there names so other people have to guess them and then i just want to tell u bout my life. so...

Tagged

1. i dont like tomatoes cuz they are squishy and ickie
2. i like living in brighton but when i graduate i want to move away from here
3. i dont like my name. its really weird and no one can say it right and it bugs the crap out of me.
4. my favorite food in the entire world is ceral. i could eat it everyday for breakfast lunch and dinner lol.
5. i love the snow just cuz i think its really romantic lol
6. i am a total rebel and if someone tells me to not do something then i am going to do it
7. i always have to wash my hands cuz i have a hand phobia or something and if they feel dirty then i have to go and wash them and then after that i always put lotion on

ok i have to tag 7 people... samme, trisha, sister weber, sister eaton, sister lewis, tae, and sam

well i will just tell u bout my life right now. well yesterday was way better and thursday was just sad. i wood rather not talk bout thursday. but yesterday i just had a good time with my life cuz i stopped worrying and caring and just went for it. i will tell u some funny parts from yesterday. well at lunch yesterday dylan told me and nomi to wait for him outside the mods cuz he had to finish a test. he said he only had 3 problems left. so we were standing outside for 45 minutes. and it was freezing cold yesterday. it was like ice and we were standing outside waiting for him. we were just talking bout random things but everything seemed to be so funny. so i told nomi to go and see if dylan was almost done. she was all scared and i was laughing my head off outside and she opened the door and everyone turned to look at her and shes whispered "DYLAN" and he just turned around and looked at her and laughed. but it was freezing i could not feel my toes or my fingers. so we started sending him a trillion messeges and calling and leaving voicemails. finally when dylan got outside he checked his phone and he had like 10 messeges that all said hurry up, we are leaving, go faster and stuff like that. it was so funny. o and why we were standing outside i decided to put my fingers on my stomach to warm them up and wow that was freezing and i almost peed myself lol. but yah. then pretty muc the rest of my day was just amazing lol. today i am going to the movies with my friend tallie to see lakeview terrance that one movie with samuel l jackson. its going to be amazing. then i think i might go to the dance but idk yet. but i hope today will just be amazing as yesterday lol.

ok so these are the 20 people on my mind...
1. she is my best friend and i love her so much and she just always makes me laugh and cares bout me so much. she came to my house to check on me and it might not seem like a lot but it meant the world to me. i am so glad we became friends 3 years ago. your the bestest and i loves u a ton. i know there is a ton of drama but we can make it through together. hearts!!!!!

2. i just have to say this persons name cuz i love saying it... DuCkIeEeEeEeEeE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your are so amazing and i love u to death. thank you for keeping all my secrets and i am so glad i can count on u in my life. you the bomb lol and sometime we will get high off of chocolate milk again lol.

3. you did amazing in the play and i am so glad that you are my best friend. i know i should listen to u more often but yah i kinda have a mind of my own. thank you for the tropical skittles they were so yummy!!! your amazing and i love u. o and remember the stuff i told u bout health class lol... that was so hilarious.

4. we have been through a lot and i am so glad that i can count on u in whatever situation i get myself into. you are always there for me no matter what. and i no that if i ever did get into really big trouble that u wood be there to help me through. you the best and i love u. no making out with anyone.. but if u do i totally want to hear bout if b4 anyone else does. lol. try not to get aids lol

5. i dont think i have ever been in a fight with u. maybe like once. and i am so glad that i can have a friend who is so much like me that we never get into fights. you are my TPing buddy and we have to go like one more time b4 TPing season is over. you are an amaZZing listener and u always have great advice to give me when i am through with my story. you are so pretty and i love u to death!!!!

6. thank you for understanding me and knowing me like the back of your hand. i am so glad that u will always love me no matter what. you are the coolest mom ever. thank you for everything!!! i love u!!! ha ha ha drop it like its hot lol

7. dad!!!! i love u so much!!! thanks for always being on my side against mom. i just love to u pieces lol. your the bestest dad ever. i no my life is really easy and thanks for making it that way for me. i love u forever!!!

8. my babies!! you always make me smile no matter what u just can always come and give me a hug and then i feel better already. thank you for listening to my stories even tho u probabley dont understand them at all. but u ask me questions and give me advice even tho its pretty hilarious sometimes. i love being inside you hugs!!! love u!!!

9. my little football player!!! you are growing up so fast it makes me wanna cry. idk what to even say to u. you are going to be a hottie when u grow up and i am going to make sure u get the best girlfriend ever. you so cute and u have to hugest chubby ccheeks ever!!! lol love u!!!

10. you the sweetest emo kid ever!! you are so adorable i just want to squeeze u!!! you have to softest hair and even tho u havent told me your story yet i still need to hear it. u should beat up that one guy for me... well i love u!!!!

11. you are the reason why this week has been crappy. idk what to even do bout u. i try to show u i care and that i love u and then u just stab me in the back so idk what to do. i really want to help u get ypu life in order but u dont listen to me.

12. your the guy. i fell for u and then u crushed me. but now u want me back again... it doesnt even make sense. i think we are better off just being best friends like we used to be. i know we can get through this and just be best friends forever.

13. thank you for being so tough and making people afraid of u lol. you da bomb. and you are probabley the whitest black girl ever lol. your amazing and i love u!!!

14. ok so i think u really need to ask my friend out already. she totally likes u (i think) and u totally like her and u guys are so cute together. so u no just go for it and see what happens.

15. thank you for wanting to shove that guy in a locker for me!!!! that makes me laugh so hard lol. i am so glad that you are one of my best friends!! i love u to death!!!! yessi!!!! <3 <3 <3

16. i cant wait to go to the movies with u tonight it is going to be so much fun!!!!! yay!!! lol. even tho u say u hate me and u say that i hate u... well i dont of course lol. i love u more than words can say. and i love all of our little hand signals in newspaper lol.

17. i have to say your name too cuz i love saying it lol!!!! BAM!! Buttercup. what an amazing rockstar name lol. you are so sweet and pretty and i just love u. i am glad that u and my sister are friends. you amazing and i love u!!!!

18. thank you for always helping me dye my hair. i am so excited for this week cuz u are helping me again. i cant even wait to see how it turns out lol loves ya!!!!

19. i am so sorry for talking bout death the way i did. i know that must be really hard for you. i love u so much and i am always her for u when u need a good laugh. your amazing!!!

20. its 11:11, make a wish!!!!!!!

i am finally done and this is really long lol. i hope u all have an amazing day!!! loves u all a ton!!!

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

my life is gay...

2008-10-08T11:43:00.000-07:00

so today has been horrible and i cried. i am at lunch and i have been crying my eyes out like all day. i hope a killer clown comes and gets me and kills me in the nite. then i wood never have to deal with my life ever again. and trisha could plan my funeral and it wood be the coolest funeral ever. and if i died no one wood care anyways. so someone should just stab me in the heart cuz thats how i feel metaphorically right now. well there was this guy that i was going out with and he was like the sweetest guy ever but then some stupid girl (no names) who is the b word with capital all letters ruined my life. she is such a slut and i want to stab her. i feel like screaming right now. o and its the STUPIDEST way to end a relationship with " i think we should just be friends" i hate it when guys do that. expecially over txting. no one does that. people who do are complete a holes. idk what i am even going to do now since my heart has been smashed once again. the guy that i was going out with was a JERK and the girl that ruined us is a SLUT times infinity plus one. i cant even stop saying that. i hope he will try txting me and i will never write back and he will still like me and he will realize that she is a slut and i am way better than her. but by the time that happens it will be too late. my heart will have healed and i will be over him. wow. well i kinda have to go back to school but loves u all except that girl and that guy.

me

Saturday September 27, 2008

2008-09-27T13:40:00.000-07:00

samme, i am totally updating my blog just for u lol. ok well um where do i start??? uh i guess life has been pretty good. i have been doin nothing really just school and dance. those 2 things kinda take up all of my time during the week. thats why i just love the weekends cuz i can sit and do nothing lol. yesterday was the big rivalary game between prarieview and brighton. prarieview won, the score was 21-14. it was kinda sad. but the bhs dancers we way more amazing than the prarieview dancers lol. and thats what made our side better even if we lost. next year i hope we beat them. but yah. yesterday i had technique from 3-5 and omg today i am sore. i woke up this morning and i could barely stand up. its killing me. but all i could think while i was breaking my body yesterday was "you are going to look hot after this" lol. kinda i hope i do look better. just right now i cant really move my legs so i have been sitting all day. kinda boring. but people have been txting me. well this one guy lol. and pretty much jessi and talli and lulu and my best friend dylan. but yah. um idk really what else to say. my mind is just all over the place so im not really thinking straight. im fighting with one of my friends and its really sad cuz i miss talking to her but i dont want to try talking to her and just make it worse. so i am just not going to txt her for a couple weeks. i just idk what to do about my whole life. jk lol i do no what im doing. um samme i am thinking of some things to tell u lol. school is school. its kinda boring but the people make it worth it. i am officially passing all my classes which is exciting lol. i had a D in english cuz my teacher hates me. but yah. um um um... i have a trillion best friends lol and its was hilarious cuz last nite at halftime i was standing with my friend sarah sue and people wood just come up to me and be like hey sucora and after about 5 people did that shes like omg u know a million people lol. it was funny. tonite i am going to go see that new movie called eagle eye with shia lebeouf idk how to spell that but i am pretty excited cuz it looks amazing. but yah kinda nervous too that i might end up being the 3rd wheel. but yah. um idk if u no already or not but trisha and tyler are going out and its kinda weirdo. but yah. i am just telling the whole world that cuz i am happy that they are happy. and trie if u read this... i no ur going to be mad cuz i pretty much did tell the whole world that u guys are going out (the people who checked out my blog thing, lots of places) but i really am happy that u are happy with tyler. .. so yah i am going to go watch some movies and try to walk down the stairs lol. loves u all a ton!!!!

hearts,
me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Monday September 8, 2008

2008-09-08T14:25:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!!! well its only been a week and people are flipping out that i need to update my blog. omg lol. calm down, i have just been so busy. i dont think i will have time to tell u everything thats been happening cuz i have to leave for dance practice in like a half hour. well like 20 minutes. but yah. so last week i didnt have practice at all cuz my coach was really sick and then she found out she had kidney stones and had to have surgery on friday. so its been over a week since i have had practice. and a week since i have ran and thats not good. i did run on friday but not other than that. i know i am going to be sore. but yah. then i just had so much stuff to do last week. i hate the weeks but i love the weekends. except when gay teachers give u homework, that kinda sucks. well nothing really happened that was exciting last week so there is really nothing to tell. but the weekend was fun. on friday i went to volleyball practice and that was fun. then i went to the movies at 9:40 with trie and lulu and dylan and some other girl that his is friend. it was really late and no one was there but it was really fun. i screamed at one part lol. then trie and lulu spent the nite and we just talked. then on saturday lulu and duckie went to the volleball game but i didnt want to go cuz sister bracey hates me. no joke, ask anyone. so i went to my little brothers football game and ended up working at the concession stand. it was pretty fun i guess. except i wore a low cut shirt and well guys just came to my side. it was gay and everyone was making fun of me. it was sad. but then i went over to tries house and watched one missed call. it was only really scary in one part, where that mom lady attacks the girl that is going to get killed. but yah not as scary as i thought it was going to be. i think disturbia was scarier. then i went to my aunts house and watched this movie called little house of horrors. and well the people who made that movie is on crack, no joke. but then it was sunday and i went to church and did homework. kinda sucky. and then it was monday and so far its been gay. but yah. well i have to go!!! loves u all!!!!! hope everyone is amaZZing!!!!

hugs,
me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Monday September 1, 2008

2008-09-01T17:29:00.000-07:00

well guys, its almost been a month lol. and even tho i didnt make another post after school it was still good. well school is school but theres other reasons why i am enjoying it this year. well first i made the varsity dance team and i LOV3 it!!!! it is so much fun. we have to run the mile everyday and then do other "conditioning" techniques. its hard work but its really paying off. my clothes are starting to not fit and its only been like 2 weeks. i had my first game on friday and it was amazing lol. i love performing, its such an adrenaline rush. the dance team last year was not that good but this year everyone loved it and it was just rockstar to hear everyone cheer for us. wow its fun lol. then the second reason why its going amazing is that i am making a trillion new friends. but this year not that many new girlfriends cuz girls cause way too much drama. so guy friends is the way to go. i have made a trillion and its rockstar lol. i love just going to school and being myself and just not caring anymore. i cant even wait for homecoming lol. well this weekend i had my game on friday and that kicked butt and then i went to lulus birthday party it was amazing lol. we watched disturbia, omg that is like the scariest movie ever. i swear i never screamed so much. after the movie i couldnt even feel my hand lol. then me and lulu went outside and were just talking and hanging out. she went inside but i stayed out there. i fell asleep. it was scary. i woke up at like 4 in the morning and was going to go inside but someone locked the door and so i had to stay out there the rest of the nite. it was scary, i thought a serial killer was going to come get me lol. omg thats another thing lol. every guy that had his right ear pierced is a serial killer lol. its kinda hilarious lol. but anyways. lulu came outside and woke me up and my eye was swollen. i bug had bitten me and i looked like freaken quazie modo. it was gay. then i took some benadril and it went down. then i came home on saturday after volleyball, we won a game and lost one, and i went to sleep. i woke up at like 6 and took a shower and blah blah blah and then i went to bed at like 7:30. i went to church and it was gay. then i came home after that and started reading twlight and since then i cannot put it down. its like all i have been doin. i am on page 340. omg bella and edward are so fraken cute together. i so want a guy like that but maybe not a vampire lol. but ugh omg lol its adorable. yah lol. then today i went to this picnic thing and hung out with lulu, trie, duckie, tori, and emma. it was rockstar. we were right by the skate park. we went over there and were just messing around and crap. but i totally didnt even no it but aaron and christian were there. i wanted to die right then. it was horrible. i made davin go ask them what there names were just to make sure and well trie was right. it was sad. she left me and i was sitting on the bench all by myself just watching them skate. a lot was going through my mind and trie already knows what im thinking right now even tho i wish i wasnt. its gay. but yah, they kept calling my name and i wood turn around and look at them but yah we didnt talk. i kinda regret not talking to aaron. but yah. well this is really long and i need to go take a shower. ttyl!!!! loves ya all ton!!!!

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Thursday August 14, 2008

2008-08-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

well everyone, school is starting today. someone should just kill me now. i so do not want to go back to school. it is going to be horrible. well i hope not. but if u always plan for the worst then your feelings will never be crushed. so... i dont really have that much time cuz school is going to be starting in like 22 minutes. luckily i live across the street tho so i can be late. my mom hates me. she made me take a picture and well i look horrible. ah!!!!!! i just hope today will be amazing. i kinda feel like crying right now. i am just so nervous. but i am just going to try my hardest to not be shy anymore and just be crazy and wild like i am all around my friends. naomi is coming to my house right now so we can walk to school together. it will be amazing. with her i no i have at least one friend. since today is so depressing i want to tell u bout last nite which was not depressing at all!!! well i went to yw and we played olympics. it was so much fun. we brought joel and well he is really shy but he is so sweet. i just love that kid. but we pretty much just hung out the whole time and talked. then joel started throwing berries at me and he gave me a fat lip. it was gay. but then i smacked him and it was all better. ah!!!! school starts in 13 minutes. omg omg omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i better get ready to go, well i lov3s ya all and i hope u have an amazing day today!!!!!!

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ps. if i post another post today then u no i had an amazing day and if i dont then well my day sucked. wish me luck!!!!

Monday August 11, 2008

2008-08-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

hey everyone!!! wow its been FoReVeR!!!! but i have just been so busy. well i went to durango and it was amaZZing. well it was fun and it was good to get away again but it rained like the whole time we were there. it was gay. well i went tubing and it was so much fun. but my arms were so sore the next day i could barely pull my pants up lol. but i got a pretty amazing tan line from being in my swimsuit all day lol. then it started raining after that and it pretty much sucked. the whole time i was gone i didnt see any hot guys. wow... thats a first for me lol. but yah. so i got this amazing hoodie while i was gone. its so cute. it is black and it says fun valley colorado in white letters. thats the place where we stayed. but yah. while i was gone i realized that i am so used to 90 degree weather that when its like 60 i am freezing. we were driving home and i had my hoodie on the whole time and it was 90. wow. but yah. so then i got home and unpacked and everything. then i went to yw that nite and played in the raid with davin since everyone else hates me and wood not come. but kinda it was really sad cuz tyler hates me now. something happened and i flipped out on wednesday and now he wont talk to me. i am not very good at keeping best friends. its gay, my life is gay. but then on thursday i went to registration. omg i wanted to DIE!!! well i didnt see any of my friends which was really sad and i saw everyone that i hated. yep my life is gay. me and my mom stood in line for 2 hours and i wanted it to be summer again already. the first day of school is going to be just wow. i dont think i can make it. but then i went to waterworld with jocie, tori, duckie, and me. it was fun. we had a blast and rode a trillion rides. and guess what... i did see a million hot guys there lol. there was this one guy and u could like see all the lines on his six pack and i wanted to die lol. but it was a blast. then i spent the nite at naomis house for the first time since we have been friends. it was amazing. but i fell asleep when we were watching this movie but i was so freaken tired but i felt really bad. sorry nomi!!! then the next day i went to registration with her. it was way faster then when i went to mine. but yah. then we had sammes going away party... sad but so much fun!!!! we did a whole bunch of crazy things lol. we were dancing and playing games in the streets then we ding dong ditched the hot guy that live across the street and left him some goodies lol. then we went TPing and yah it was a blast. we made prank phone calls lol omg morgan is amazing at that lol. honey nut cheerio... your my hero lol!!!!!! o yah and we all got ceral nicknames, i am coca puff. then on saturday i went to see swing vote with trisha and lulu. it was not as funny as i thought it was going to be and it was really sad but it was good. then i read my book the rest of the weekend and i finished it today. wow im done with my homework lol. well i have written a lot lol. and i need to download my metro station cd onto my ipod. omg i forgot to tell u guys that metro station is my new fav band lol!!!! well lovers u all!!!

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Wednesday July 30, 2008

2008-07-30T22:48:00.001-07:00

hey everyone!!! sorry i have been so busy lately and have not had time to make a post. so much had happened and i dont even have time to explain it all. my dad has to get on the computer so i have like 5 minutes. i will try to get on here tomorro b4 i leave but idk. well thats basicly what i wanted to tell u all... i am leaving tomorro and not coming back till august 6. omg that is a long time lol. but i am going to durango and it will be a blast to just get away. pretty much i g2g!!! lovers u all!!!!\

me <3 <3 <3

Saturday July 26, 2008

2008-07-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

hey people!!!! its almost been a week and so much has happened lol. well girls camp was freaken amaZZing lol!!!!!!! i had so much fun and i met so many new people lol. i swear every txt i get im like who is this and then they tell me and im like omg i so love u a ton lol!!! i got a million new numbers and just made a million new friends. this year girls camp kicked butt!!! i had awesome leaders and awesome ycls and just awesome everything lol. it felt good to come home tho and take a shower lol. it also felt good to sit in an air conditioned car lol. i got home yesterday. on the way home i went to 7-11 and got a slurpie and some nachos lol. it was so yummy!!! then for dinner my aunts got me french fries. lol it was delicious. as soon as i got service i checked my messeges and i had like 30. it was so amazing. i was like people love me lol. right now im listening to he said, she said... this song is nasty lol. wow lol. but pretty much yah. i got home and showed my mom all the stuff we had made and then we talked for awhile. then it started pouring rain. it is all cuz of that freaken rain doll i swear. (so we were getting ready to go on our hike and this creepy old guy brought us this doll and was like do u want it. and we were like uh sure. so we put it outside our camp. the guy said it was a rain doll and whenever u put it outside it rained. it rained everyday at camp) so yesterday it rained. the rain doll really works. but so me and my sister and my little brothers went and played in the rain. it was so much fun. we were soaking and just jumping in puddles and having so much fun. then i came inside and took like an hour shower. it felt so good. lol. then i unpacked, did my laundry, and watched a movie. my little brothers went to my aunts house and spent the nite and my sister went to bed really early. so i was awake and i went upstairs and laid on my parents bed. we were talking then i was laying by my dad and i fell asleep there. i slept with them and they didnt even wake me up. but anyways lol. this morning i woke up and my mom was like hurry up we are going out to breakfast. we went to ihop with my aunts and then we went shopping with them. i got a notebook that says "ROCKSTAR" its amazing lol. i also got some other school stuff. then i came home and have just been chillin. but pretty much last nite i didnt have my phone like at all. since i got back from girls camp i am not really used to it working. i forget bout it and then like 3 hours later i am like i better check my phone and have like 10 messeges. some people really need to calm down lol. but yah. so i got a call from an unknown number and i answered it. i heard people talking but not to me just like whispering in the backround so i hung up. then this morning i had a missed call from that one guy. i was so happy i was like ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yah. i havent talked to him in like a week so it is sad but then good to. its confusing and hard to explain. but yah. pretty much i am getting ready to leave. i am going to a dance with all my friends and its going to be amazing lol. and this week i am so busy. just omg. i have to finish my freaken summer homework. then on tuesday i am going to the movies with a million people to see the dark knight and its going to be so rockstar lol. then on thursday i am leaving again till August 6. i am going to durango. it will be amazing lol. well i better get going. hope u all had an amazing week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lov3 ya!!!!!!

lovers,
me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Sunday July 20, 2008

2008-07-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

hey everyone! its kinda been forever again. but thats just the way i roll. well i am leaving tomorro and then u will never see me again... just kidding lol. i am coming back on friday. i am going to girls camp and it is going to be so freaken amazing i cant even wait!!!! i just get to hang out with all my friends for a week, its going to be amazing. getting away is just what i need right now. i found out that there is no service up where we are going so i am shutting off my phone when i get there and then not turing it on till we leave. i hope i have a million txts so u all better txt me lol. it wood be really sad if i only had like one or something. then i wood cry cuz everyone wood hate me. but yah. i am all packed and i took a shower tonite so i dont have to take one in the morning. i am going to straighten my hair and then i am leaving. its going to be kinda not fun the first day or the first half of the second day cuz i am going up a day early cuz i have to and then everyone else is coming up tuesday. its gay but whatever. i am really excited to go but then kinda not really cuz i got put in a group that i dont really like so it sucks. but if i get annoyed or something i am switching tents and screw what everyone else says. rachel is going to be the head leader at girls camp and she loves me so she will understand. but i am going to sneak out everynite and go to all the other tents and i could care less if i get in trouble cuz i am not really doing anything wrong. people just flip out so easily and they really need to calm down. but yah. i am just going to have a good attitude and be nice to everyone (even people i hate) and i hope that will make it an amazing week. but yah. so i have been doing nothing lately, just a lot of thinking and my gay freaken homework. but yah. thinking is the worst thing u could ever do for yourself and kinda thats like all i have been doing. but yesterday i was on the computer and i was only txting lulu and then i got a txt from the person i was thinking about and it made me smile lol. it was good :-) (i just made that smiley face lol). but yah then i bought a million songs and my sister bought all the mamma mia songs lol! omg!!!! that is my 3rd favorite movie ever!!!!!!!!! its so freaken amaZZing lol. i went with lulu and my sister and saw it on friday and it was just all exciting lol. pretty much i decided that dancing queen is my theme song lol. kinda i am just like that lady but i hope that doesnt happen to me. but pretty much yah. i better get to bed. i hope u all have a freaken amazing week and u do a million fun things!!!! LOv3 ya!!!!

lovers u all a ton,
me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ps. if u read this leave a comment so when i get back i will have something to read lol
pss. dont forget to txt me!!!!!

Wednesday July 16, 2008

2008-07-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

its been awhile since i have talked to u all last. and last time i was having a freaken break down. kinda since then my life has still been pretty sucky. i just cant get happy. it makes me want to cry. today was just a horrible freaken day. after i got out of the shower my mom came in and started yelling at me. she was just going off on me. i wasnt really listening cuz i get the same lecture a lot. but yah. then she followed me into my room and was still yelling. she had started yelling because i was not doing my homework. i have gay freaken summer homework and i barely started. but its my life, my choices, not hers. but then she like changed the whole freaken conversation around on me. she was suddenly talking bout how i have changed and how everything is michaels fault and that maybe i should get away from my family and that i am not happy. well u dont think i already know all that. i cry almost everynite cuz i am not happy. i am not happy with my life. i dont like it. my life is close to nearly not perfect. i just want to get happy and stay happy but i cant. i have so much on my mind right now and talking only makes things worse for me. she just sat on my bed looking at me while i balled my freaken eyes out. she said that maybe i should go to colorado springs for the school year. she said that brighton high was not making me happy anymore. she said i could go live with her aunt and uncle for the school year. if i did go i would only want to go for one semester and then come back. cuz i wood miss so many people. i dont want to go cuz i wood miss so many things. like... seeing all my school friends, lulus amazing birthday party, homecoming (game, week, dance, royalty), nomis first high school dance, halloween, thanksgiving, all the football games, i woodnt be back till christmas. that is forever. i wood not see anyone for like 3 months of my whole freaken life. i wood miss TPing season and long walks at nite. i wood miss everything i love. and it wood totally and completelty be a new start, a new beginning. but i dont think i will end up going. unless my parents make me. they have been being all weird around me. its freaken gay. my freaken gay freaken life. well i better go to bed so i can get some sleep. sweet dreamz.

lovers u all a ton,
me

People!!!

2008-07-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

ok so i no this is like the millionth post today but seriously. i am in such a bad mood. i may not seem like it when i talk to u but inside i dont no wats going on with me. ok so i shut off my phone at 1 since i am supposed to and then i turned it on at 4:30. i had 3 messeges. i was like o kew people love me. i had two from tyler and a pic from christian. he got his lip pierced and he sent me a pic. it looked pretty kew. i wrote back it looks amazing. then i told him that i wanted to pierce my belly button and then i get this really mean txt. its from aaron on christians phone and it says all this mean stuff like i am a slut and im so gross and to stop txting his friends and all this crap. well guess wat... he txt me first!!!!!!!! i was doin fine without aaron or christian or gage or michael or anyone in my life. but i deleted that number a while ago. then a couple weekends ago i got this weirdo txt from a number and it said something really nasty. it was gay. then they just called and then the next day i was txting christian and he told me that aaron had sent that messege and that gage hated me and aaron didnt. then i hadnt talked to him since. but then today aaron just says that and i was like wtf. are u freaken kidding me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! people really need to stay out of my life. so for those of u out there that keep coming in and out of my life, make up your minds. either be in my life and be nice to me or be out. be out and stay out. dont ever come back. delete my number forever. geez!!! i kinda just had a breakout. i am kinda doing better now. but seriously. aaron, christian, gage, michael, whoever the heck i was txting just decide and then follow it. stay in or out.

Friday July 11, 2008

2008-07-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

hey guys!!!!! its been forever since i actually made a real post lol. i put all my pics from montana on there but i havent really gotten to tell u all how i have been. well kinda my life has been boring and boring and boring lol. since i have gotten home i have had no motivation to do anything so i have been really really lazy. but yah i have been thinking like way too much, it really sucks. thinking is the worst thing you could do for yourself. i always have too much to think about and its so overwhelming. last nite i was thinking about so much. i was so stressed out. i got really sick and i had a huge mirgrain and i thought i was going to puke. i cant even explain it. pretty much school sucks. i have to do gay summer homework and i havent even started it and school is starting kinda soon. i have so much to do but i dont feel like doing it. so maybe i will just drop those classes. idk. but then some guys are just in my life and then not in my life and then in and then not and they really just need to make up there minds. seriously tho. i cant keep changing my feelings. its not working out well for me. i have to go to my brothers baseball game at 2 and then at 8 tonite i am babysitting for this lady at my dads work. there are going to be 7 kids and the oldest two oldest are 5. and the rest are babies. but the lady said they were rich and that they pay good... so that is good cuz i need the money. next week i already have like 3 dates with different people. not guys lol just friends. my friend tallis birthday so im taking her out, then nomi, and then me trisha and smitty. omg wow lol. kinda i have to go so ttyl!!!! have an amazing day!!!!

lovers u a ton,
me

Coming Home!!

2008-07-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

if u cant already tell on the way home lulu had my camera. she took a million pics of herself lol. but she does look amaZZing lol!!!! on the way home we all slept most of the way. i was so worn out. but it was worth it lol!!!!

In Montana

2008-07-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

these pictures are from when we were in montana. we had so much fun!!!! it was a blast. i took like a million more but my computer is too slow to let me put them all on there. so yah lol. but all the little kids are trishas cousins. they are so cute... and wild lol.

The Car Ride There

2008-07-09T11:45:00.000-07:00

this pictures are of us driving there. omg it was a long ride lol. but it was fun. we pretty much just rocked out to some gay country music lol. we wrote notes to eachother. me and trisha had like 23 pages front and back. lol. that nite we read them... they were so hilarious. we had a laughing attack lol.

Leaving...

2008-07-03T05:25:00.000-07:00

hey guys!!! i am leaving for montana in like 10 minutes. i am so excited to go!!!!! its going to be a blast!!! sorry i havent made any changes to my blog but i have been so busy lately. going to montana is relazing i hope!!!! i wont be back till monday!!!! o and where i am going there is no service, so i dont have to txt anyone!!!! yay!!! lol!!! but yah, gots ta go!!!! have a faboulous weekend and thursday and monday lol!!!!! miss u!!!!

lovers u a ton,
me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ps. the new will smith movie, handcock, is freaken amaZZing lol!!!!!!! its so tied first place with transformers lol!!!!!!

Monday June 30, 2008

2008-06-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

omg its been the whole weekend and i have so much to tell lol. well on friday trisha came over. we went to my brothers baseball game and he won. but there was this stupid green shirt lady that wood scream so loud and rosemary said she was going to go punch her in the face. she wood yell at the pitcher 1...2...3... out. it was so annoying. so at the end of the game when my "g" best friend trevor was pitching i wood yell that as loud as i could. he did amazing lol. we won by one point. and now his team is going to the world series, i am so happy. GO BAD BOYZ!!!! they rock lol. i made a new best friend that nite named gabriel. he is pauls little brother and he is so adorable. trisha said i scare little kids and that is how im going to kidnap them when i grow up lol. kinda that is not wat i am going to be lol. the keyboard is all sticky and its bugging me. but yah. then we were driving home and there was this huge car accident and we had to go through the median, i thought my mom was going to kill us lol. but we obviously made it or else i woodnt be typing this right now lol. omg i almost forgot, that day i gave trevor a hug and he just ran away from me. so iwas like trevor why do u hate me so much, im just going to cry myself to sleep so he gave me a high five. and i was like trisha that is the highlight of my day and shes like the highlight of ur day is not me coming over and i was like uh no lol. but yah lol. then on saturday i went to my little brothers baseball game and they lost by one. but they did good. i got a sunburn on my shoulders cuz i was wearing a tank top but it should be turing tan soon... i hope lol. then that nite i went to the dance with smitty and naomi. u were supposed to wear jeans but we just happened to wear skirts. it was embarrassing lol. but yah. me and naomi sat on the floor in all the slow songs cuz we did not want guys to ask us to dance and then on the fast songs we screamed them. but really they need to play better music and NOT play techno. but yah. then on sunday i went to church, came home, and then watched law and order like all day lol. sundays are so relaxing lol. then today i woke up and pretty much did nothing all day except txt and chill. i helped with the laundry and cleaned the kitchen but taht was about it. i no i no my life is boring lol. but i was just in an amazing mood and i danced around like all day lol. and yah. it was kinda a weirdo day but watever lol. this is really long. i guess i better go. kinda no one is txting me back, its sad. but yah lol. sweet dreamz!!!

i lovers u a ton,

me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

ps. on wednesday i am going to see the new will smith movie!!!!! im so excited!!!!!

Thursday June 26, 2008

2008-06-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

today was the best day i had all week, no joke. i didnt have a panic attack or a breakdown or cry. well i did cry but only for like 5 minutes. today i didnt think hardly at all and that feels amazing. i woke up this moring and just hung out. then i had to go get shots. i had to get two, hepatitis a and the cancer one idk wat it is called. but yah. then we went and picked up nomi fry and she came over and hung out. we went to safeway and it was just amazing lol. i love that store and idk why. then we came home and my moms friend rosemary came over. she is pretty amaZZing lol. she is my "bff" lol. then we went swimming. we had so much fun. we just swam around and i saw my best friend paul and my "g" best friend trevor. but that kid hates me. but yah lol. and there was this kid with man boobs. he was like really skinny but he had boobs. rosemary said he needed to get a bra lol. i kinda had a laughing attack. she is hilarious. and then we took nomi and tori home. then we came back and yah. rosemary, aaron, wyatt, and cody came over and just hung out for a while. aaron is garretts coach and wyatt and cody are his kids. cody is my best friend to and he gave me a hug today. he is so cute. when i put some more pics on my blog i will put one of him. then i just blasted some music and now im working on my blog and IMing lulu. i better get to bed cuz i am kinda tired. hope u all had a freaken amaZZing day!!!!

hearts&hugs,
me

Wednesday June 25, 2008

2008-06-25T22:36:00.000-07:00

hay everyone. i was signing in and it was showing all the blogs that have been updated and there was this one that said lesbian lovers... o wow lol. and omg i am so starving cuz i have not eaten since lunch. but i made myself a pot pie and it just came out and its burning my mouth but it is so yummy u have to try one lol. today i dont really no how to describe it, cuz my mood and feelings wood change so fast. one minute happy, one minute sad, one minute mad, one minute frustrated... just omg. i think i am bipolar or something. i kinda flipped out like a million times today. so this morning was alright. then trisha invited her friend kailee to yw tonite and i thought she hated me so i just started crying and was like omg. but kinda kailee is like my new best friend she is amazing lol. i love u kailee lol!!! but ya. then there is this thing that i cant tell anyone. but kinda some people already no and if u do then u no how much i am flipping out about it. it is like all i think about and its really sad but then kinda happy i guess to. i just idk yet. i need to make a pros and cons list... trisha that is ur job. and no its not a guy. i am done with guys. lol! but ya . so for mutual tonite i went ice blocking... omg it was so freaken AMAZING!!! lol!!! i had so much fun. i am so glad i went. but i wore shorts, that is not a good idea. for those of u who dont no wat ice blocking is well u take a huge block of ice and slide down a hill on it. it sounds stupid but pretty much its so much fun. it gives u an adreanaline rush... idk how to say or spell that word lol. so yah. it was just so much fun. but then i came home and i got in a huge fight with my parents bout that thing and yah. but i am better now. so there is one thing that i regret the most right now and that is ever going out with aaron. cuz if i never went out with him then he wood still be my friend and he wood be txting me right now and yah. he always new wat to say in watever kind of problem i was having. if he ever reads this which i doubt he will lol but i really miss ur advice so u should just txt me sometime cuz i have a million problems and i just miss talking to u. but yah i doubt he will ever even no that. i am not even finished eating my pot pie and i am full. something is wrong wit me i ate like half of it. yah. but i am just going to go to bed. well call trisha again and then go to bed. i hope u all had a freaken dazzling day!!! i love u all!!!

hearts&hugs,

me

Tuesday June 24, 2008

2008-06-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

hey everyone. so pretty much i just changed me blog again. i added like a million amazing quotes and pictures. i think it looks amazing lol. i am really tired so this wont be very long. and i have to wake up early in the morning cuz i have to babysit, gay. but ya. so today was alright i guess. better than yesterday. i went swimming and i just let everything go, i didnt think at all. it feels amazing to not think. but ya. i have a new best friend named paul, he is on my brothers baseball team lol. but omg my "g" best friend trevor is so white, like no joke. i guess that doesnt make him "g" lol. but seriously like whiter than me and im white lol. that kid is not even my best friend cuz he hates me so ya. i think a lot of people hate me right not. kinda i have just been in an awful mood. cuz of one thing but i cant tell. but its really sad and some of u already know about it. but its depressing. well me and trisha are not fighting anymore. she is not the B word. but something is wrong with her cuz she is all sad and she wont tell me. she changes mood quickly. cuz earlier today she said her life was perfect. i guess u messed it up. well life isnt perfect. u have to read all my quotes and understnad. yah. but i think lulu is still mad at me. i was the B word to her last nite. but yah. she is kinda not having a good day. im sorry again lulu. i understand if u dont want to talk to me just txt me when u r ready to talk again. my life is depressing but i really want to be happy. thats why i put all those quotes on my blog so i can read them everyday. i hope taht my blog inspires everyone. i guess this was kinda long... sorry. sweet dreamz.

hearts&hugs,
me

ps. sorry again lulu, i really am. i feel terrible.
pss. trisha, u really need to get happy and stay happy. sorry for watever happened.
psss. nomi, if that thing does happen i will be really sad to. im crying. ugh, ah, omg!!!!!!

Monday June 23, 2008

2008-06-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

hey everyone.. so my life sucks. i really want to cry. i the most horrible day ever and to top it all off i had a horrible night to. so it started this morning when i was in a terrible mood. i started yelling at everyone. then my mom got mad. then we were talking and then i started crying. and i just cried on her shoulder for like 2 hours. it was horrible. and i had a huge headache. finally when i was done i just went on the computer. i changed my blog and it looks amazing. but ya. so the main thing that ruined my hole freaken day was trisha. ah!!! i was just trying to be nice and then she was just being the B word. so i was going to invite her over after the movies and spend the night, so i asked her wat she was doing tomorro. she said amy was coming over tonite i was like ok nevermind. and then i was like dont txt me tonite and shes like why and i was like cuz ur going to be with amy and she said so and i said well i dont want to be rude. and then we got in this huge fight and so we are still fighting. cuz i dont no wat she told everyone tonite but both tyler and amy said i started the fight cuz i got mad cuz she invited amy and not me. that is not even the story. maybe people should just tell the truth. i think i am going to cry again. just ugh. everything in my life is not going right it keeps going wrong. things just keep getting worse. just omg. so ya i think i am just going to go to bed and think till i fall asleep. kinda i have a lot to think about. its hard to be strong when ur weak to begin with. its hard to be strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong. well i hope u all had a way better day than me...

hearts&hugs,
me

ps. sorry that this post is all over the place, but kinda i cant focus on anything.
pss. i dont think i am going to go to mutual wednesday or the dance. sorry guys.

TPing Photos

2008-06-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

so these pics are from friday when i went TPing... they are amaZZing lol!!! everyone has to go TPing before they die, they just have to!!!

hearts&hugs,

me <3

Sunday June 22, 2008

2008-06-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

so omg its been forever lol. well kinda not really only like i dont no lol. but ya. so on friday i went to lulus house. it was pretty fun but trisha was in a bad mood. i hung out with lulu and samme all night. i had so much fun. we went TPing lol, it was amazing. then we sat on her porch for like ever just talking about everything. it was nice to let everything out. i love there porch just cuz its amazing lol. then on saturday i went to look at puppys with them lol they were so cute. ah!!! but it was going to be a big dog so they didnt get it. then i came home. i was supposed to go mow lawns but i ended up not going cuz when i got home it was already too hot to go. so i lucked out. but i have to go sometime this week. which sucks. then i helped my dad wash the cars, it was fun lol. i got soaked and so did he lol. then my aunts came by and i squirted them down lol. it was hilarious lol. they told me not to take a shower till they got back cuz i was going to help them plant flowers so i didnt. the sun went down and it was freezing. i was still wet and i just went and laid on the couch and i fell asleep from 7:30 till like 9. i missed helping them plant flowers. but i was so cold and i could not even get warm. so then i went and laid on my mom and dads bed and watched a movie with my mom. then my dad went and bought me m&ms cuz he is amazing like that lol. then i took a shower and went to bed. but kinda i couldnt fall asleep. so i just laid there till like 2. and everyone fell asleep on me so i had no one to talk to which is sad. so i just laid there and was thinking. i thought about a lot of stuff which is kinda sad. i hate thinking its gay and it just ruins my whole life. well kinda not really. so then i fell asleep. then i wok up this morning and went to church. came home, ate dinner, and then watched tv like all day. it was amazing to not have to do anything lol. but ya. so i watched this really cute show called in plain sight. and they were in this shed thing and the guy, marshall, was shot. the girl, mary, was like why are u getting a new job i thought we were friends. he said we are friends. she said u r my only friend. he said ur my only friend. then they kissed!!! ah!!! omg lol!! it was so cute lol!!!! just like wow. it was so cute. so ya. i am thinking again and its gay. i want to cry!!!! but that wood be bad. so i wont. well i am going to bed to think some more i guess. well lotts of love!!!

hearts&hugs,
me <3

Thursday June 19, 2008

2008-06-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

so i just realized that i think i put the wrong date on yesterdays post lol. that is gay of me lol. ya so pretty much i have a ton of stuff to tell, like get off my back. just like omg. so last night at mutual we played jeopardy and my team so won!! lol. but it was kinda like really boring. everything was so hard like all the questions. and i had to go against george who is really smart. he knows everything and ya i didnt even no the first question they were talking bout. but i got to see trisha last nite. she looks amazing lol. she has blonde hair again which is exciting. but she is going to chop off all her hair and most likely dye it again. it was fun to see her. but then i got home and my sister started crying like out of no where. i didnt no wat was wrong and she woodnt talk to me. then she told my mom and dad and i overheard some of it. she was mad at me for something, i dont really no wat for but ya. it kinda bothers me. but i dont no wat to say to her. so ya and she is not here tonite so i cant really talk to her. last nite i fell asleep on the couch with my contacts in. i was just thinking about a lot of stuff and crying a lot and i just fell asleep. so this morning i woke up at like 8. then i saw sister lewis cuz she came to see my mom and i just love her she can always make me smile. then i went over to nomis house. it was really fun. we watched transformers, my favorite movie ever. it was amazing. then we just hung out and talked. it was really relaxing for me. we went to target and i bought the we the kings cd, they are my new favorite band ever. they are amazing and i love all there songs. then i came home and got in the shower, i emailed lulu back and now i am posting a new post on my blog. pretty much i am not in a good mood right now and its making me sad. i am really confused about a lot. like trisha. i dont no wat is wrong with her. she doesnt seem like her self anymore. and me and her and smitty were supposed to get together tomorro and hang out but now she doesnt want to cuz she wants to spend time with her parents, she has never wanted to do that. like ever since i met her. she really makes me sad. but i am still going over to her house cuz lulu invited me over. we are going to watch camp rock, even tho i kinda dont even want to see that movie. but ya. i really want to go TPing with them and so i hope its fun. i hope trisha is in a better mood and that she will come with us. she just isnt herself... ugh. my life is gay. well not really but for this moment it is. i hope u all had an amazing day!!!

hearts&hugs,
me

Thursday June 18, 2008

2008-06-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

hey guys!!! sorry i missed u yesterday i was having too much fun lol!!! and i got home late so i couldnt write on my blog. but ya lol. so yesterday i went over to lulu's house for like the hole day lol. i left at around 2 and got home like 12. it was amaZZing!!! lol!!! so ya. i just hung out all day with her. we went to the park and talked bout guys and some other stuff lol. we had a really great time. i have not seen lulu in forever so it was fun to just hang out together lol. we switched phone like all day. it was fun to have someone elses phone lol. then we went babysitting for sister lewis. she is hilarious lol!!! we watched the eye. omg it was so scary!!!!! ahh!!!! like u have no idea. so we decided to have a scary movie night!!! omg it will be amazing!!! some movies are prom night, one missed call, koojo, children of the corn, vaccant, the eye, hitchhiker, room 214, and a hole bunch of others lol. it will be amazing lol. so theres this part in the eye where she is looking out her door from that little eye hole thing. then this scary dark seeker thing that is on fire jumps out and i screamed lol. luckily i didnt wake the kids lol. it was funny. then after the movie we were just talking bout scary movies all night. i heart scary movies lol. and lulu is the only one that will watch them with me lol. but i cant wait to we watch scary movies all night lol. it will be amazzing lol!!! so ya. but yesterday i cut my bangs. i always cut them and they look fine. but they were really long so i cut them and i cut them to short, they look horrible. i look like a dog. its gay but i will just have to get used to them lol. they dont look that bad i guess but they wont go behing my ears and they keep getting in my face which bugs the crap out of me. but i bet if i wear my hair down i will look like an emo kid. so ya. i am so excited for tonite!!! cuz trisha is coming home!!!!! i cant wait!!! lol!! and we are playing jeopary with the guys so that should be fun. and the girls are totally going to kick the guys butts lol!!! ha ha ha!!! so ya!! i better go straighten my hair so then i will look like an emo kid lol!!! hope ur having an amaZZing day!! hearts u all!!!

lotts of hearts,
Me <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Monday June 16, 2008

2008-06-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

so omg its been forever!!!! ah!!! i have missed my computer lol!!! so well utah was amazing lol. it felt so good to just get away from it all and not have to worry bout anything. like omg lol. i had fun just hanging out with my cousin and watching movies. by the way, my new fav movie is transformers lol!!! that movie is so freaken amazzing lol!!! so... for like christmas i so want it lol. to any of u who are willing to buy me my fav movie lol. jk jk jk. well when me and trisha have our will smith party we are so watching it cuz like no one has seen it. and everyone who hasnt seen it really needs to lol. but ya lol. so i made a lot of changes to my blog cuz it was gay and boring. but my most favorite thing is my music!!! its exciting to open my blog and have my fav songs start to play lol. so i have kinda not been thinking a lot lately which is good lol. well except when i have been driving and sitting in the car. i drove like a million hours it was so omg. my grandpa was telling me wat to do and i just wanted to smack him. he can be really annoying but he means good and i no that. i like being with my grandparents cuz they let me do watever i want and they respect me for me. which feels good. im listening to touch my body lol right now. i havent heard this song in forever lol!!! its pretty much amazing!!! lol. so since everyone thinks i am a flirt i no where i get it from. my uncle loyd. he is like a million lol but he was flirting with everyone and they were all family. lol. so thats where i get it lol. i am sorry to every guy that i ever flirted with i didnt really mean to it just happens. i dont even no why guys went out with me, i mean seriously. i look horrible and i am a freak lol. no joke lol. guys like aaron and michael omg wat were u thinking lol. seriously tho. so... ya. but i was just going to write something but then i forgot lol. its hard to put what im thinking about into words. its gay lol . so i did decide one very important thinng while i was gone. well actually two lol. the first one is that i do not care what people think of me anymore. i just dont. they can say anything they want and i wood want them to tell me face to face what they think of me but that doesnt always happen. but i am just not going to listen to wat they have to say cuz i like being me. so if u have anything to say to me leave me a comment and a name, first and last. unless ur for sure i no u lol then u dont have to put ur last name lol. but ya lol. so the second thing that i decieded is that omg i missed a ton of people lol and my music. omg if i moved i wood have to find a new favorite radio station lol. and i missed everyone so much even tho i was only gone for a week lol. if i moved i wood be lost without all my amazing friends!!! i just heart u guys!!! thanks for being amazing lol!!! so idk wat i am doing for the rest of the week lol hmmm... im bored. now im listening to switch lol. amazing!! so my friend brandon called me out of no where it was weird. he is one of my really good friends little brother and i havent talked to him in like 10 years. and the last time i talked to him he told me he was emo and he sent me a pic of his arm and then his face. he just looked really sad and not himself. it was sad. but when i talked to him today he seemed happy so that is good. im listening to crying out for me remix lol its way better than the regular version. lol. so for those of u i havent told, i have a new best friend. his name is gage and his is like my second cousin i think. lol he is 9 and the baby of a set of triplets. he is pretty amazing lol. he does bmx and was like the national chanpion or something idk lol but he does really good wheelies. and he just did them for me like all day lol. ooo and he lives in vegas, my fav place to be lol. so ya. well before i go i have to tell u one last thing , i am never going to get married. cuz well it wood be gay. and how could u like someone for like 50 years. wow lol. well i gots ta go. ttyl!!! hope u are all doing amazing!!!

lots of hearts,
Me <3

ps. woot woot lol

Thursday June 5, 2008

2008-06-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

omg wow!!! it has been forever since i have updated my blog, and so mych has happened. but kinda i dont really remember it all lol. well idk even where i left off last time. well theres this guy who i like a lot a lot but i dont ever see him and he lost his cell phone, so its kinda depressing, but watever. if it was meant to be then i will see him soon. omg i have so much going on right now, im just so overwhelmed!!!!! well tonite my sister is having a movie party and all the beehives are coming over. but i invited nomi over cuz well i just love her lol. but ya. so we are going to just hang out and watch movies. and i think karoke after so that will be really fun lol, even tho i suck at singing!!!! but watever i dont care wat people think of me right now. pretty much i look like crap. cuz i am dying my hair tonite so i just took a shower but didnt really feel like getting around. so i am wearing some comfortable shorts, my "little miss naughty" shirt and some knee socks that smitty gave me. so i am eating some really good soup right now lol. i am kinda starving cuz i have not eaten anything since breakfast lol. but ya so where was i, um o ya this weekend. tomorro i am going to the movies. it was some guys brillian idea to invite a million people and guess what half of them are going to be gone, its gay!!! but watever i am still excited to go lol. we are going to go see indiana jones, i am so excited lol!!! i think it will be pretty fun i just hope i dont run into someone i hate. that wood kinda suck!!! but ya then on saturday idk wat i am doing probabley laundry and packing. and on sunday i am leaving forever!!!! i am moving!!! lol jk jk jk jk!!! i am not moving just going to utah for a week. my grandparents are taking me and i am so excited to get out of this gay town for a week!!!! yes!!! lol!!! so i have a dream right now... i want to make eye contact with the guy i like. cuz i have never really seen him in person well i have but we didnt talk. but i want to. but probabley that wont ever happen. well pretty much i gots to go cuz nomi is going to be here soon!!!! lol!!! i hope summer is going fantasticly amazing lol for everyone!!! lots of love!!!

LOv3,
Me <3

Monday May 26, 2008

2008-05-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

so its been a while since i have told u bout my life lol. well on friday it was my sisters birthday party. it was so much fun. we blasted the music and just laughed. we went TPing at my aunts house but they caught us, once again lol. but on friday night a very good friend of my sister, sidney weber, died in a car accident. her and her family were driving to utah when they slipped on an ice patch and the car rolled. she was not in her seat belt. the rest of her family is ok. heavenly father needed her more than we did. she touched many hearts and she will always be remembered. we love u sid!! on saturday i got my hair cut, it looks amazing and i love it. then we went to my cousin nicoles graduation party, it was kinda awkward cuz i have not seen anyone in forever like a year. but ya. then we went shopping and we got a million new clothes. it was fun. on sunday church was hard cuz we talked bout sidney. everyone was crying, even the guys. then i went over to my friend trishas house. she just got back from montana and didnt tell anyone bout it, well everyone new but me. it was gay. but i went over there and we just huing out and had so much fun. she is the best!!! today i came home at like 11 and took a shower. then i helped clean the house and now i am listening to some music and thinking. it is really depressing actually. what i am thinking bout sucks. the song check yes juliet always reminds me and i just listened to it. so now i am thinking. i hate thinking. i just want to be friends. but i no that is not going to happen. so pretty much my life sucks right now. but it will get better, i hope. i hope everyone else's life is amazing!!!

LOv3,
Me

Thursday May 22, 2008

2008-05-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

today was pretty good lol. i went over to my friend nomi's house and hung out like all day. we had a million laughing attacks lol. it was her birthday today and a very sweet guy stopped by with a very sweet gift lol. i watched the hole thing frim behind the wall. it was adorable. pretty much we just hung out all day and then we painted our nails. they are hooker red with hate written on one side and love written on the other side. and one thumb is a heart and the other thumb is a broken heart, they look amazing lol. tomorro is my sisters birthday party and i am so excited cuz we are going tping lol!!! i havent gone in forever and i am so excited lol!!!! on saturday idk wat i am doing but i am going to my little brothers baseball game and then to the dance. i hope that nomi decides to go or else it will just be me and smitty lol. and i think i am going shopping on saturday for some summer clothes, cuz i really need some lol. and on saturday lulu is coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant wait to see her cuz i miss her so much!!! and then in a couple weeks trisha will be home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this summer i want to gain confidence in my self. that is what i want most right now. well i am going to go to bed cuz i am babysitting cassie and dallin in the morning!!! sweet dreamz!!!

LOv3,
Me

Wednesday May 21, 2008

2008-05-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

omg i am so sorry that i missed u guys yesterday, i have been so busy lately. lol. well i am officially out of school and a sophmore lol!!! i am so excited to be on summer break, it feels amazing lol!!! so yesterday i didnt really do anything just hung out and relaxed. Today i babysit my babies this morning and then i spent the afternoon by myself. i like the quiet sometimes cuz it gives me time to think and relax. i laid in the sun for a little while, until the sun went behind the clouds which sucked. but i think i did get a little tan. then i watched this movie on disney channel called read it and weep. i have never seen it before. but in the end i started balling my eyes out... it was horrible. i dont even know why i was crying but i just was. it was a happy ennding and i was crying. who does that??? i dont know but i felt like a freak after that. then i was watching gilmore girls, my new favorite show, and trisha called me and i flipped out. like no joke i flipped out and i was screaming at her and then i started crying and then i hung up on her. i felt really bad, but i apoligized and everythings all good. then i went to yw tonight. it wasnt a good idea i shouldve just stayed home like duckie wanted, but i wanted to get out of the house. so i got there and i decided that i was going to talk to sister lewis about how i was feeling cuz she always gives good advice. so i was talking to her and i started crying again and we sat in the car the whole time just talking, its amazing how fast time flys by when u r thinking so much. i told her bout michael and aaron and she said that michael is just a jerk that only ever wanted one thing and now i relize that. but i still like aaron, well not really anymore. she said that if he is going to believe michael over me then he isnt worth my time, and that made me relize that i can forget about aaron. i dont need him to make me happy, i can make myself happy. she also said that communication it the key thing to any relationship. and that getting involved makes everything more better. so this summer is dedicated to finding myself, finding the real me. it is going to be hard, but i can do and its something that i want to do. thank you sister lewis for all your help, you are amazing!!!!

LOv3,
Me

Monday May 19, 2008

2008-05-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

So today was pretty good, i guess. i had to take 2 finals, english and art. They were pretty gay but i finished them. So as of now i only have 1 hour and a half of school left. i am so excited!!! lol!!! i had a million people sign my yearbook and well some were really sad and some were not. but ya so ya lol. i really dont have that much to say. so well i got to see that lecoi kid... omg lol. shanna sent me a pic of him and trisha and i screamed. i was sitting in the car and i got this pic from shanna and i screamed. my mom was kinda mad and when i screamed it wasnt really helping. but i just had to scream lol !!!! i cannot even wait to meet him!! and i cant wait till i get to see trisha and lulu lol!!! well um i think thats all i have to say.

LOv3,
Me

ps. I <3 u all more than words can say!!!

Sunday May 18, 2008

2008-05-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

sorry i missed u guys yesterday i was really busy. it was an alright day yesterday i guess. things could have been better but things could have been worse. i woke up yesterday and i checked my email and then got around. then i went and mowed my grandparents lawn, it was really long and it took a lot of work. they have a huge yard. today my arms hurt really bad from lifting the bag to dump the grass, but by the end of the summer i should have pretty big muscles lol. then i went to my little brothers baseball game. it was really hot outside. i got sunburned. it sucked. but then today i woke up and it was gone. it turned into a tan but not a very good one lol. then i went to my cousins graduation party, it was pretty fun. i talked to blith and she told us some funny stories and then i got to meet my cousins boyfriend, juan, he is pretty nice. it was really relaxing cuz i just sat on the porch and let the wind blow on me. then at about 9 my aunt took me to go shopping for duckie's birthday. i got her some huge white sunglasses with butterflies on the side and some chocolate lollipops. she has chocolate lollipop eyes, so thats why i got them for her. then i came home, ate some french fries, and then talked to trisha, and then went to bed. i feel really bad cuz well me and trisha got in 2 fights yesterday. it was horrible and it was all my fault. but i hope that we are not fighting anymore, she hasnt txted me back yet. i feel awful, it was all my fault. ugh, my life sucks. i cant really explain how i am feeling right now. its like i cant control my emotions, i mean one minute i am happy and then the next i am not. i dont know wats wrong with me, but watever. well i have to go get ready to go to my cousins graduation. i hope all of u have an amazing day!!!

LOv3,
Me

ps. Trisha i am really sorry, please dont be mad at me.
pss. duckie i LOv3 U!!!!!
psss. nomi i am sorry bout all that is happening to u
pssss. i love u guys!!

Friday May 16, 2008

2008-05-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

Well today was very interesting and really boring. It was also kinda sucky. I keep having a good day and then a bad day and then a good day and then a bad day... its gay. So i just woke up this morning and got around and i got my babies around. Then i finished my art project, i thought it was going to look better but it really didnt it actually looked kinda sucky. but then my grandma came and got me and my babies and we went to 7-11. We got some slurpies and some chips. They were delicious lol. then we went to the school. i dropped off my babies at kindergarden and then i went looking for my little brother, i gave him a slurpie and everyone else was jealous lol. Ok so this is way off subject but, the other day at my little brothers baseball game i was cheering really loud and then after the game one of the kids on his team said he was lucky to have big sisters. i felt pretty amazing lol. ok so back to my day... well then nomi got there and we hung out the hole day. we really just wondered around and talked. i totally saw this guy that looked like the guy that i like but it wasnt him cuz he was in the 6th grade, but no joke they looked the same. but then we were going to kindergarden graduation and we were at the drinking fountains and guess who happened to walk by. u no that one guy lol. for those of u who do no well nomi almost died. it was really awkward and i just wanted to dissappear but then she wood have been really mad at me. so i stayed. but he totally new that we had just lied to him. i kinda felt bad for the kid but well watever. so then i didnt get home till 4 and i babely walked inside and sister mourtinsen was already waiting for me. i had to go babysitting. i just got home and i am really tired. but i cant fall asleep for some freaken reason. u no that guy that i like well i cant stop thinking bout him... its gay!!!!!!!! but i got some good advice from my friend kelsey. she is really good at giving advice. thank u!!! well i am going to try and get some sleep cuz tomorro is a busy day. but i hope that everyone else can fall asleep and u had a great day!!! luv u guys!!!

LOv3,
Me

ps. sorry lulu i didnt get to mail ur letter i forgot.
pss. nomi i am really sorry that ur day kinda sucked
psss. thanks again kelsey!!!
pssss. duckie i am really sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3!!!
psssss. $w33t Dr3@m$!!!!!!!

Thursday May 15, 2008

2008-05-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

So today was alright i guess. it was really boring but it was my last day for math, science, and freshman seminar lol!!! it was pretty exciting!!! lol! so last night my life was filled with drama!!! it was kinda terrible. well this one guy likes my friend and i think she likes him but im not sure and we were supposed to go to this dance and now she doesnt want to go so it kinda sux. but watever. me and luke are so caught in the middle!!!!! well we have a "secret plan" that we hope will work. well as of right now i only have 3 hours of school left lol!!! that is pretty amazing!!! right now i am listening to sadie hawkins dance lol (kelsey i no u love that song lol). if i were going to go to a sadie hawkins dance i think i wood ask that one guy that i like lol. so well i really dont know what else to say lol. ok so i thought of something lol. this weekend i am so excited!!! lol!! well on friday, well tomorro, i dont have to go to school!!! i am so excited for that!! i get to go to my babies kindergarden graduation and then my little brothers field day. and it is supposed to be warm tomorro which is amazing lol... then on saturday i am going to my little brothers baseball game and then my cousins graduation party which is so exciting. and then on sunday i get to go to my cousins graduation... omg she is growing up so much lol!! well i am just trying to lov3 life right now lol. i hope that the rest of u are having a fantastic day!!!

LOv3,
Me <3

ps.lulu i got ur letter and i am sending it 2morro!!! i miss u!!! I [] u !!! lol (thats supposed to be a square lol)
pss.nomi i cant wait for 2morro cuz well i just cant lol
psss. trisha i am so glad u are feeling better lol!!!
pssss. duckie i am so glad that u r home lol i missed u so much!!!
psssss. i am talking to nomi on the phone right now lol its amazzing!!!
pssssss. omg "friends are like condoms, they are there for you when it gets hard." O WOW!!! lol
psssssss. well i think that is all i have to say...
pssssssss. well thanks mom for just being there and everything lol ur the best
psssssssss. well i am thinking bout this guy... only a few of u know who it is.. but he is amazing but we are not talking but i just wan to be friends.
pssssssssss. so i LOv3 all of u more than words can say lol
pssssssssss. well i am smexy lol and so is that one guy lol

Wednesday May 14, 2008

2008-05-14T14:03:00.001-07:00

Well today was way more amazing than yesterday lol. i just had a freaken amazing day today lol!! this morning was my last day of seminary so that was just good altogether lol. then school didnt start till 9 so it was kew to just hang out. in history cortez told us all these funny stories that just made my day better. in art i am alomst finished with my painting... it looks amazing lol!!! and in health i read my paper. it felt amazing to just know that i am done with health. and i decided that guys are just going to be guys and i could care less about wat they have to say bout me because i know that everyone loves me lol jk jk. but i know a lot of people do. i am getting ready to leave cuz my aunt is taking me to go get ice cream lol... i am so lucky lol. i just want to say thank you to davin for making me smile today lol. and thank you to everyone that i love more than words can say!!! i hope that all of u are having a dazzling day as well!!!

LOv3,
Me

ps. only 1 day abd 3 hours of school left lol!!!! YES!!! i am almost a sophmore!!!
pss. trisha i was reading my health paper and all i could think bout was u and i just wanted to thank you again for being the bestest friend i could have ever asked for. and i no that u no wat i mean by that!!! LOv3 u!!!
psss. nomi i cant wait for 2nite lol and i someone else cant wiat either lol!!!!

Tuesday May 13, 2008

2008-05-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

So i dont know bout any of u but my day was just not that good. the weather kinda ruined it cuz it was all depressing outside. and school is almost over and i just have like a milliion things to do but i really dont feel like doing anything lol. my mom is at outdoor ed with my sister and my dad had to work tonight so i am stuck babysitting... its gay. but i dont have to pay my phone bill cuz of it so its all good. lol. and then some stupid guys just ruined my hole life. i do not understand why they hate me so much but watever cuz i do NOT care bout them anymore. they can just stay out of my life. well i hope that everyone else is have an AMAZING day!!!